There are quite a few engineer types out there. Last week, we went over four of them – and today, we’re going over the last three. This was a super fun mini-series to write, and I hope you recognized yourself in one of these types!
The Chtulhu, also known as The Ancient One, has been with the company so long they’ve reached Exalted status (WoW reference in there for ya). They know they could leave and earn nearly twice as much at a different company, but they simply won’t. They like that they’ve been at the company the longest; it’s a badge of honor, just like the massive beard that they haven’t shaved or trimmed in 5 years. Seriously, it’s more tentacle than beard at this point.
Coworkers would describe them as “a bit weird. Like not the quirky kind of weird. The weird kind of weird.”
Music of choice? Death metal. Favorite board game? Eldritch Horror (no shade, it’s fun – try it). Outfit? Tan trench coat and fedora.
The Always Anxious
Eternal nemesis of “It Worked On My Machine,” the Always Anxious engineer is a hair away from a panic attack. Where their nemesis fails (ie: no sense of urgency ever), the Always Anxious shines – perhaps a bit too brightly. They’re known in the office as “the one that furiously fidgets all the time.” It’s unclear if they’ve always been anxious, or if it’s a newfound trait brought on because of the stress of coding.
The Always Anxious, perhaps a bit too appropriately, loves fast-paced drum and bass that matches their heart rate, roughly 160 bpm at rest. If you value your Always Anxious engineer, keep them firmly away from energy drinks, as they are in legitimate danger of a heart attack.
The Unexpected is exactly what they sound like: someone you wouldn’t expect as an engineer. They spend all their time outside of work at the gym and put ‘brah’ at the end of most sentences unironically. They’re smart, they can code, and they can also write you up a weight training plan if you ask really nicely. They’ve invited you to the gun show. They might have even flexed in a Zoom call once or twice.
They’re wildly inappropriate at times, coming back from the gym on lunch break without showering or changing back into work clothes, and loudly taking phone calls with their gym bros to talk about their workout. But the higher-ups keep them around because, all told, their work is surprisingly good.
This concludes our small Engineer Types series! Hope it lightened your Monday a bit. No matter which kind of engineer you are, know that you’re awesome and that you make the world go round. Shine on, brah. 💪
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